thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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