Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It was confusing and full of hummus
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
