Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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