She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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