guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
