I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
