So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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