it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Can I color on your dick again?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
