Your tits are I can't wait for
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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