someone get that fucking seahorse.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
