I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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