I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
