I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
