How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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