Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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