I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They took my balls.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
