It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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