so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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