Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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