how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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