u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
