can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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