She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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