Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
