yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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