don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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