My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
