Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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