hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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