I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
