I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it was like his penis was on wheels.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
