The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
