you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
