yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
