Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
