The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
