dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
