I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
