We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
