Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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