1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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