new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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