My sheets look like a crime scene.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
