You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
