so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
