She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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