the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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