he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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