I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
