Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
