How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
